Mengapa aku kecewa dan sedih

OK..this post should be written in Malay language but for some reasons after typing a few words i felt a bit funny. Then at last i decided to wrote this post in english. It has been sometimes since i last updated my blog. Honestly i was pretty busy with my daliy life and i don't know why everytime i had a little bit time to go online i did utilise it to update my blog but went online on facebook. I don't know why but this is what i call the social networking is changing and experiencing evolution.

I feel very sad since i received an email from someone told me tht i didn't get it. The worst thing is i didn't even shortlisted for an interview. It breaks my heart terribly and since that moment i can't sleep until now. It has been few weeks and i don't know what to do now. I have set my mind for it and i have prepared for it. I rally thought i will get it. In fact i was quite confident that i will get it. But i was wrong and i am disspointed. I have tried to tell myself maybe it's not my luck this time but i cannot accept it at the moment. I feel very sad and feel like my whole world has collapsed.

I am slowly raising but everytime i try my wings are broken and i can't do it at all. I believe every of us has the ambition that make us stronger and motivated. I want this badly that is why i have been keep in touch with the people wanted to know the result. Sadly i didn't get it even though i want it badly. I really thought i would get but all i received was a sorry email.

I don't know why i didn't get it and i would like to know the reasons. I believe i do have the ability and i believe that i do have whatever skills required. I do have the knowledge and i believe that i can learn things even though i never learned them before. I know i can do it and i know that i can work it quite well.

Missing this oppurtinity is like missing half of my body. I just hope that i will get it. I have prayed to God that i want it badly and i have asked God to help me. But it seems like God has a better plan for me or maybe God thinks something better for me. Or maybe God thinks it wasn't for me? I don't know and i don't have the answer. It has been days i have been thinking about the answer but my mind couldn't work out the answer. Shall i surrender? or shall i just leave it? or shall i wait? or shall i fight for it? I don't know..honestly...

A few things about me

Today i would like to blog a few things about myself. I should not tell u these things but then if you knew you would know more about the owner of this blog. In fact, you might find them a bit interesting. Or maybe boring? who knows?

Here are few things about myself.

1. I have diploma in computer science, bachelor degree in software engineering and master in software engineering.

2. When i have the time i like cooking, BBQ, photography and travelling. I always do these activities as soon as i find a slot of time. LOL!

3. I look like a serious guy. Friends have told me about this many times and i accept it. But hey say hello and you will know more aout myself. I am a fun and joyful guy.

4. Doing a research and teaching are my passions. I love doing those things. I find them very interesting.

5. I have been broken heart a few times and it was hurt. The first was the deepest and i almost went crazy because of it. In fact academic almost went to hell.

6. I love nice things especially my jeans and shirts. They don't need to be branded but have to be clean and nicely fit to my figure.

7. I was born in a very poor family. I remember when i was a little i used to walked to the school for an hour and half. Went to school with 20 cent and sometimes nothing. I used to go hunger. Went to school with a plastic bag and I used to wear the same uniform for a week. They were so stingy and i can't do anything about it as i have only one uniform.

8. For every single thing i want i never got it easily but i had to fight to get it. Nothing came to me easily.

9. I love a city life and a rural life. I love the jungle as i have been brought up from there. So for me jungles are life friends. I would not mind to spend sometimes there.

10. I love monies!!!!! This doesn't mean being a materialistic guy but maybe because i never had it before.

Here are few things about myself...i hope you enjoy reading it.

Something about me today

It's 11.28PM now and i couldn't close my eyes. It was a long day for me as i woke up this morning about 6am and i did a few things before i wen off to Garama River with my nieces and nephews. What a very bad luck because i was thinking to hire a boat for a ride to watch monkies on the river banks. It wasn't as what we have planned. Then we came back and had our lunch. It was a simple lunch as we had what has been left this morning. Mmmmm...but it was a nice simple lunch. For about an hour i have been thinking what shall i do again. I liked to visit a few places and at last we decided to visit Sipitang a small town about 40 minutes from Beaufort by car. I drove the car and was hoping something good would turn out. Well, it was a pretty good journey apart from the road congested before we crossed beaufort town. About 30 minutes later we arrived at Sipitang. It was a small town but i would say quite clean apart except the beach. I must say the beach was a bit dirty and it wasn't clean at all. So i guess it was a big dissapointment for us. We did take lots of pictures and did enjoy ourselves. I would like to go there again soon but not my priority though. About an hour later we felt a bit hungry and decided to eat something simple. Guess what we had??? We had satay!!!!! For the first time i ordered 60 sticks of satay. Mmmm..pretty good eh! and pretty nice of course. Yeah!!!! Another bad luck when there was an argument about the satay price. The first waiter said 40 cents per stick then when the bill come they charged us for 50 cents per stick. I was very upset and i felt like we were cheated. Anyway i resisted not to pay and wanted to pay the price per stick we have been told before. But at last i paid the full price because i didn't want to argue. Uhhh...F*** the waiter and the owners. I am still quite upset for what happened.

Ostrich under the banana tree

Sister is feeding the ostrich

She was trying to touch the ostrich

They are so cute

My turn trying to feed the ostrich

Come on..

Ostrich are beautiful are be careful because they can kick and could kick your ass. LOL! Even though it was only just 15 minutes we were with them we had so much fun. They were such a fun animal. I had ostrich meat before but i don't remember how it tastes. I would like to taste it again LOL!

Ikan keli afrika mak eloi eloi

Lots of them

Bloody hell

Sister and her children are feeding the fish

Look!!!

One of the things which i never seen before is "Keli Africa" or whatever you call it in English. I don't know the name in english as far as i concern i never seen this fish in the UK whether in the shop or serve in the restaurant. So when i went to its farm few days ago i was very impressed with the sizes of them. They are quite big and i must say very unusual (maybe not but because i never seen it before i thought they were quite big). Not only big but sooooooo big!!!! Bloody i repeat they are soooo big LOL! I was impressed!!! and i wonder how it tastes. LOL! Malay people like this fish because they can cook lemak cili padi....

Taman Buaya at Tuaran

Kissing the croc

Putting his hand inside the croc's mouth

He should have smile

brave miss

big croc but this is not the biggest. i will post some pics of biggest crocs

Over the weekend my sister and her children and also me went to Crocodile farm not far from where we live. It takes about 15 minutes drive from where we live. This place has been talked and visited by many of the people here but i never been here because i was always busy. Well, i don't know but i was very firm wanted to visit this place this time. At last we went there and wow..lots of fun!! Even though i paid RM10 for the entrance fee but it's worth it. For OKU people it's free but there is no discount for golden ages people. But it still worth it paying RM10 except my only complain is some parts of the place are a bit dull and i do really think they need to maintain them. Especially the big house and the bamboo house. I also think they should put some traditional furniture made from bamboo. Apart from that everything was great especially the crocodiles. I must say, the biggest crocodile i ever seen lively is from this farm. I have seen something like this in Sarawak and some other places before such as in zoos from different places but they were not as big as what i've seen in this farm.