I'm the one by your side

My legs are a bit tired tonight but still want to update my blog just to make it alive again. I started this blog about five or six years ago and ever since I always try to make sure this blog is stay alive.

You know when you are in a relationship right? It feels so good and everyday you feel like you always have something that you'll be looking forward. Everyday the person's name is on your head and you remember all the things that you used to do together, you feel like the person is just perfect for you and you just don't want to lose that person.

But in some cases, some people have been in relationships before the person met you. Sometimes in your conversion, the person talks about his/her past. Some of them had really good ones. I mean really good relationships. But for some reasons "it is better to leave than to hold on". There are so many reasons this happened...and one of them is death.

Okay okay some of you did not understand what I'm trying to say. Let's put it straight to the point. Dating with someone who had an amazing relationship but his/her gf/bf passed away just before they got married.

So basically, every time you are having a date with the person you always feel like you are being compared (even if the person never compared). Don't you feel that way? I do...most of the time. Sometimes I feel like I want to be better than the person's previous partner/bf/gf. But you know what..I've read a book about dating (I can't believe I was reading it) and according to that book, never compete with a ghost and the ghost will be always the winner. You will end up a loser and disappointed in the relationship.

So this kind of relationship scares me a lot... I don't expect to be better than the previous one in all aspects but I do want to be better in many aspects. Because I always have the thoughts if the the person's previous one is better than I might be forgotten easily because the ghost will be always in his mind. Eventually you might end up an uncertain relationship. What's the point of being in a relationship if your the person past is always the background and shadow in between you and him/her?

As the song says...he's gone....but he's still in your mind...he's the background of our relationship...makes me feel like i'm number one but i'm not the only one :-(

Yeah...he had a perfect heart and flawless but he's gone and i'm the one by your side....i can see in your eyes that you are not ready though you've said you are....we can't smoke without the fire i'm afraid :-(

Just got my exam results, it makes me dancing

I wish i could fly to celebrate it

I got up quite early this morning about 8 am (if i not mistaken)..then i went to town to see the "morning market" as i never seen morning market in the UK before. I was thinking about my exam results the night before. The good thing is i didn't even think about it last night. I fallen asleep quickly last night. I think because i was very tired last night. Thinking about this, that and all sort of things. My heart is still bleeding and i am still hurt but i just hope one day there will be time for me to erase all the memories even though i know it's something impossible to forget. I really thought the person was honest to me and and trusted all the promises. But there you go..they were all rubbish!!!

Anyway..I got back from the "morning market" about 10 am if i not mistaken and i quickly turned on my laptop and clicked mozzila firefox. I browsed studynet to check my exam results. Mmmm..was a bit nervous but i was okey i guess. Slowly i rolled down the laptop's touch pad and i saw my result with distinction. Wow....what a day? even though i was a bit disappointed because there is one subject where it didn't reach my target score. But..overall..it's a flying colour result....

I am sorry to some of my friends. They are a few of them failed their subjects and even some of them got very low grades. We did, we laughed and we enjoyed together even clubbing together but the exam results are totally different...

p/s: life is so tiring...but i really want to enjoy it before it came......