Spring is getting very very close..but....

I don't know...but i've seen flowers are everywhere today and some of them are blooming with some snow drops. It feels wiired when the weather is getting better but your feeling is still one step at the back. Isn't wired? yeah...i thought so!!! But i think i know the answer. When someone is missing you and you missing someone as well, you feel so wanted and you really appreaciate yourself as who you are. Life isn't easy and it's really though, that's why some poeple commited suicide just because they could not cope with it. Life is something that you never know what would happen one step ahead. For me, it's like the stock market or when you are playing forex. You never know what next but you could plan for it. But again, you never know what you've planned would happen or not. Because life is chaotic.....

Sometimes.....we don't really know how much we love someone until he/she left you. Yeah...really...maybe you thought he/she is just a small part of your life until when the person gone, then you realised that you have lost something very valuable in your life.

Sometimes, it's too late to regrate and you feel so down for the rest of your life. It makes you miserable and feel really down. I had the experience and i know someone who's having this at the moment. Shall i say sorry? I don't know...my life is here now and if possible i would not want to think about it. It doesn't mean i'm cruel...but i want to be my own space and hope that one day i wish i have the second chance to be in love again.

After a long conversation on phone this evening, i felt so sad when everything was revealed. I never thought it would be that matter and never expected this is the end. It was very sad and it was really unbelieveable. I am weak, i am terrified, i feel so damn shit!!!! Sometimes when life stops being polite, you have to be rough to fight it.

P/S: Where shall I go? how should i hide? what shall i do?