Mengapa aku kecewa dan sedih

OK..this post should be written in Malay language but for some reasons after typing a few words i felt a bit funny. Then at last i decided to wrote this post in english. It has been sometimes since i last updated my blog. Honestly i was pretty busy with my daliy life and i don't know why everytime i had a little bit time to go online i did utilise it to update my blog but went online on facebook. I don't know why but this is what i call the social networking is changing and experiencing evolution.

I feel very sad since i received an email from someone told me tht i didn't get it. The worst thing is i didn't even shortlisted for an interview. It breaks my heart terribly and since that moment i can't sleep until now. It has been few weeks and i don't know what to do now. I have set my mind for it and i have prepared for it. I rally thought i will get it. In fact i was quite confident that i will get it. But i was wrong and i am disspointed. I have tried to tell myself maybe it's not my luck this time but i cannot accept it at the moment. I feel very sad and feel like my whole world has collapsed.

I am slowly raising but everytime i try my wings are broken and i can't do it at all. I believe every of us has the ambition that make us stronger and motivated. I want this badly that is why i have been keep in touch with the people wanted to know the result. Sadly i didn't get it even though i want it badly. I really thought i would get but all i received was a sorry email.

I don't know why i didn't get it and i would like to know the reasons. I believe i do have the ability and i believe that i do have whatever skills required. I do have the knowledge and i believe that i can learn things even though i never learned them before. I know i can do it and i know that i can work it quite well.

Missing this oppurtinity is like missing half of my body. I just hope that i will get it. I have prayed to God that i want it badly and i have asked God to help me. But it seems like God has a better plan for me or maybe God thinks something better for me. Or maybe God thinks it wasn't for me? I don't know and i don't have the answer. It has been days i have been thinking about the answer but my mind couldn't work out the answer. Shall i surrender? or shall i just leave it? or shall i wait? or shall i fight for it? I don't know..honestly...

A few things about me

Today i would like to blog a few things about myself. I should not tell u these things but then if you knew you would know more about the owner of this blog. In fact, you might find them a bit interesting. Or maybe boring? who knows?

Here are few things about myself.

1. I have diploma in computer science, bachelor degree in software engineering and master in software engineering.

2. When i have the time i like cooking, BBQ, photography and travelling. I always do these activities as soon as i find a slot of time. LOL!

3. I look like a serious guy. Friends have told me about this many times and i accept it. But hey say hello and you will know more aout myself. I am a fun and joyful guy.

4. Doing a research and teaching are my passions. I love doing those things. I find them very interesting.

5. I have been broken heart a few times and it was hurt. The first was the deepest and i almost went crazy because of it. In fact academic almost went to hell.

6. I love nice things especially my jeans and shirts. They don't need to be branded but have to be clean and nicely fit to my figure.

7. I was born in a very poor family. I remember when i was a little i used to walked to the school for an hour and half. Went to school with 20 cent and sometimes nothing. I used to go hunger. Went to school with a plastic bag and I used to wear the same uniform for a week. They were so stingy and i can't do anything about it as i have only one uniform.

8. For every single thing i want i never got it easily but i had to fight to get it. Nothing came to me easily.

9. I love a city life and a rural life. I love the jungle as i have been brought up from there. So for me jungles are life friends. I would not mind to spend sometimes there.

10. I love monies!!!!! This doesn't mean being a materialistic guy but maybe because i never had it before.

Here are few things about myself...i hope you enjoy reading it.

Something about me today

It's 11.28PM now and i couldn't close my eyes. It was a long day for me as i woke up this morning about 6am and i did a few things before i wen off to Garama River with my nieces and nephews. What a very bad luck because i was thinking to hire a boat for a ride to watch monkies on the river banks. It wasn't as what we have planned. Then we came back and had our lunch. It was a simple lunch as we had what has been left this morning. Mmmmm...but it was a nice simple lunch. For about an hour i have been thinking what shall i do again. I liked to visit a few places and at last we decided to visit Sipitang a small town about 40 minutes from Beaufort by car. I drove the car and was hoping something good would turn out. Well, it was a pretty good journey apart from the road congested before we crossed beaufort town. About 30 minutes later we arrived at Sipitang. It was a small town but i would say quite clean apart except the beach. I must say the beach was a bit dirty and it wasn't clean at all. So i guess it was a big dissapointment for us. We did take lots of pictures and did enjoy ourselves. I would like to go there again soon but not my priority though. About an hour later we felt a bit hungry and decided to eat something simple. Guess what we had??? We had satay!!!!! For the first time i ordered 60 sticks of satay. Mmmm..pretty good eh! and pretty nice of course. Yeah!!!! Another bad luck when there was an argument about the satay price. The first waiter said 40 cents per stick then when the bill come they charged us for 50 cents per stick. I was very upset and i felt like we were cheated. Anyway i resisted not to pay and wanted to pay the price per stick we have been told before. But at last i paid the full price because i didn't want to argue. Uhhh...F*** the waiter and the owners. I am still quite upset for what happened.

Ostrich under the banana tree

Sister is feeding the ostrich

She was trying to touch the ostrich

They are so cute

My turn trying to feed the ostrich

Come on..

Ostrich are beautiful are be careful because they can kick and could kick your ass. LOL! Even though it was only just 15 minutes we were with them we had so much fun. They were such a fun animal. I had ostrich meat before but i don't remember how it tastes. I would like to taste it again LOL!

Ikan keli afrika mak eloi eloi

Lots of them

Bloody hell

Sister and her children are feeding the fish

Look!!!

One of the things which i never seen before is "Keli Africa" or whatever you call it in English. I don't know the name in english as far as i concern i never seen this fish in the UK whether in the shop or serve in the restaurant. So when i went to its farm few days ago i was very impressed with the sizes of them. They are quite big and i must say very unusual (maybe not but because i never seen it before i thought they were quite big). Not only big but sooooooo big!!!! Bloody i repeat they are soooo big LOL! I was impressed!!! and i wonder how it tastes. LOL! Malay people like this fish because they can cook lemak cili padi....

Taman Buaya at Tuaran

Kissing the croc

Putting his hand inside the croc's mouth

He should have smile

brave miss

big croc but this is not the biggest. i will post some pics of biggest crocs

Over the weekend my sister and her children and also me went to Crocodile farm not far from where we live. It takes about 15 minutes drive from where we live. This place has been talked and visited by many of the people here but i never been here because i was always busy. Well, i don't know but i was very firm wanted to visit this place this time. At last we went there and wow..lots of fun!! Even though i paid RM10 for the entrance fee but it's worth it. For OKU people it's free but there is no discount for golden ages people. But it still worth it paying RM10 except my only complain is some parts of the place are a bit dull and i do really think they need to maintain them. Especially the big house and the bamboo house. I also think they should put some traditional furniture made from bamboo. Apart from that everything was great especially the crocodiles. I must say, the biggest crocodile i ever seen lively is from this farm. I have seen something like this in Sarawak and some other places before such as in zoos from different places but they were not as big as what i've seen in this farm.

The bisexual crocodile

But believe me this is as big as the width of badminton's net

It doesn't really look big here

It says bisexual

For the first time ever i seen a bisexual crocodile. I never thought they could identify the sexuality. I think this is amazing. I wonder how do they identify the crocodile's sexuality. When i first come to the cage/maybe pond i saw this quite big crocodile. Then i saw a little board hanging on the side of the cage. It says bisexual crocodile..then i was thinking how the heck they identify his sexuality??? Mmmmmm...am sure they have the method but i still find it very fascinating. Anyway it doesn't matter because the thing is it was a big and strong reptile .

Souvenirs from Sabah

The butterflies are so beautiful and i love every single of them

Scorpions

Spider..this is so beautiful

I think here are sme well..maybe a bit expensive souvenirs from Sabah. Well, are they expensive? well maybe they are if you paid in RM but if you paid in pounds i bet they are actually quite cheap. Each of the are ranging from RM50 to RM180 and in pounds they are about from 10 pounds up to 35 pounds. Well, for most people in the UK at these prices are quite reasonable. So when i went to KK last week, i was looking for some souvenirs to my friends in the UK but i do not know what to buy. I don't really want to buy all those usual things such as key chains, the things you can stick on the fridge, shirts, etc. I would like to buy something very unsual and at last i decided to take a look of those insects such as spiders, scorpions, etc. They look so beautiful and i would like to have some of them but looking at the prices i have to think twice whether i should buy them or not.

Kota Kinabalu Night market

Wow..look at the fish

Some of the food we had

Look at the lobster....it was delicious

So much cheaper compared to KL and Penang

Last friday i went to Kota Kinabalu with my nieces. Well, we were bored and wanted to have our dinner at somewhere different. From Tuaran town we drove down to Kota Kinabalu about 3PM. After about 30 minutes we arrived at Kota Kinabalu. We walked around KK and had lots of window shoppings. It was great even though we didn't buy anything but we enjoyed it. Just looking different things from one shop to another. Great fun and i did enjoyed it very much. After about 8PM we were hungry and went to the night market infront of Le'Meredien Hotel. Wow....everything was very cheap compared to the prices in KL or Selangor or Penang. For all what we had for 3 people we paid only about RM35 which are about 6 pounds. Cheap enough actually. We had 3 rice, 3 drinks, one big fish, about 12 prawns and 6 squids. I have about 3 side dishes as well. So just imagine we paid only RM35. Very cheap LOL!

P/s: If you want to eat for cheap seafood you should come to KK

YES!!! My first class master!!! Yahooooo

After days and weeks i have been waiting for my final results i finally can say It's a first class and guess what??? I am very happy because in total i got 5A 1B. I still wish i could get A the one B I got in the first semester. The thing is, it wasn't very difficult the subject but i think because i was still trying to familiarize myself with the system and also the weather. But nevermind because 5A 1B is already good enough for me. But actually it would be better if i can get 6A isn't better? Yup pf course! But i still want to be thankful to God for his continuous blessings, family and friends. Here are my whole results. For master only 6 subjects for one year course. But the workloads are ridiculous!!!

Software Engineering Experience and Practice -> B

Human Computer Interaction -> A+

Measuring Software Engineering -> A+

Web Programming -> A+

Research 1 -> A+

Research 2 -> A+

That's my whole results...arghhhhh....i managed to get First Class!!! Now i can't wait to start my PhD!!

Wonod is a traditional medicine

Healthy

The water flowing out of the tree or root is very healthy and good to increase you stamina

It's not easy to take it

Wonod is a traditional medicine for my family. My mum inherited this medicine from grandma long time ago. It has been three or maybe four generations of this medicine. For your information wonod is difficult to find and you are not becareful to identify the root, you could ended up drinking a poison instead of medicine. Last week my sister and I went into the jungle again to find the medicine. There were seven types and you must take all of them and drink all of them to make sure that the medicine has its maximum strength. It's good to increase your metabolism and stamina!!

Weekend gathering!!! Time to cook and eat.

Yum..yum..yum..

Weekend with family is one of my favourite activites. It is a time to laugh, sing and cook and eat of course. Last weekend was my turn cooking (actually always my turn LOL!) sisters, brothers in low, nieces and nephews came to us and i cooked for them. Some of them helped me doing the BBQ and some of them actually helped me in the kitchen. And some of them were busy chatting LOL! I took me about 2 and half hours to cook for about 20 people. Actually it was quite tiring but i had so much fun doing the cooking. I just love cooking as long as i have assistants. Sometimes cooking for many people could be very fustrating that's why i do need assistants. Second chef LOL! So here are some of food i cooked last week for my 20 people customers!

The Jungle Restaurant or Rastaurant TJ

My nephew was busy online

Nasi pattaya mmmm

Mee basah Tuaran ayam only rm4.00

Restaurant TJ or also a short form for The Jungle Restaurant is one of my favourite restaurants in Tuaran twon. Tuaran is a small town not far from Kota Kinabalu. Probably about 25-30 minutes drive to KK city. Tuaran is well known because of its Tamu exactly like Tamparuli but i guess Tuaran's Tamu is more upmarket than Tamparuli but Tamparuli has such a lovely bridge. That's why the song Jambatan tamparuli is is very popular among Sabahans. From Tuaran town to Tamparuli town you need to drive for another 10 minutes. Not that far actually. In fact Tuaran and Tamparuli are neighbours. For your information, Restaurant TJ is owned by an Australian who married with a local??? (am not sure about this). But he is an Australian and opened his restaurant about 2 years ago or maybe last year??? am not sure again. But it doesn't metter because the food are fantastic in the terms of price and quantity. Here some of my pictures with my nephew!

How bamboo's shots look like??

Tadaaaaa......bamboo's shots

Originally how it looks like

Rebung in english is known as bamboo's shots. I never knew this before until i went to England. In the UK bamboo's shots are very expensive because it could costs you up to RM15 for very little quantity. Here in Sabah i can even get it free of charge LOL! Maybe need a little bit of effort because you have to go to the jungle then you will get it. Not far not thick (LOL). But i do enjoy going into the jungle because for me jungle is the nature where we all should know the fact where almost everything started from the jungle. Even human started from the jungle so why should we forget the jungle?? For me jungle is beautiful. Anyway, yesterday i went to the jungle...had to walk about an hour to reach this place. It was easy for me LOL! In the UK i did 5-8 hours. So for an hour walk climbng a hill was easy enough for me. Anyway here are some of the pictures of bamboo's shots.

The very different shop at 1B

I like the red crab

Ghat's his favorite teddy

See he liked it

This is another post about the day where i took back my nephew to UiTM sabah. Before I dropped him to his hostel we decided to go to 1B or well known by Sabahan as one Borneo (where did our PM got the name of One Malaysia??). One of the shops where we landed our bums (LOL!) was "the very different shop". Just looking at the name of the shop it already shows the differences. They we quickly went inside the shop and we found out that it was a toys shop (not adult toys shop okey!!!). There were so many toys in the shop and and i think my nephew's favourite one was the white teddy bear with pinky nose. Mine was different because i like the crab which has different sizes eyes. LOL! We managed to take some pictures while we were there.

Ayam Golek at Bazar Ramadan

aren't they look so tempting?

Mmmmm....i bet i can finish two

Mmmmm.....delicious ayam golek

I took my nephew to UiTM sabah last Monday. Then before i dropped him to his hostel we went to Bazar at IP or well known by UiTM students in Sabah as Indah Permai. I honestly never been there before even though i passed the place many times. It was my first time and i was very impressed because of the Ayam Golek. I was very impressed the way they roasted the chickens. Am not sure if i ever seen something like this before but of course i have eaten ayam golek before. Mmmm..it looked very nice but i didn't buy any because i thought i can do this thing even without the machine they used. Maybe the only difference is the taste. I do have my own ingredient when i do BBQ but i do not know their ingredients. Mmmm..next time i go there again i will buy one!!!

Playing with fire

FIRE!!!!

I like the flame of the fire

I like this one..it's beautiful

Lol! my borther was burning something and my camera was with me that time. It just happened it thought i might have shoots. The fire looked so beautiful. It was reddish, yellowish and orangeish!!! I am still new with my Tamron lens and i thought i could take batter pictures. I took few shoots and some of the are actually above the average. By the way i have received an email from Canon about my quotation of my broken lens and they charged me for RM175. Well, not too bad! I really thought i will pay about RM300 - RM400 for it. Huh!!!!!!!! Thanks God it's not that very expensive.

Pictures of a dog

Here are another few more pictures testing my tamron i bought last week. I still find this tamron is really good for long distance snap shots but not for short distance. Here are pictures of my dog in sabah and always follow me where ever i go. When i was taking pictures of the buffaloes he was always with me guiding me from the back. He is a very good dog. Ha..ha..ha...He's not a fat dog like some dogs but he is a slim muscular dog. Very fast when he is running!!!

Pictures of a boy and his dog

Looking back on his future

Climbing a small hill

A boy and his bodyguard

I fall and raise

Another test of my 18-200mm tamron lens..my little nephew who is 2 years old was the actor LOL! Following me from the back but i intentionally left him far behind me because i thought i could take nice pictures of him with his candid acts. Here are some pictures of him. I haven't edit the pictures yet as i like to see what i have taken instead of editing them. His spontaneous acts make the pictures look alive.