I knew I would hurt you BUT..

I knew I would hurt you but I never meant to do it. I am just on my own in my world paddling my rotten boat crossing the journey of river life. I sometimes drawn but not quite because I just managed to reach my paddle and rotten boat. Get back on the old boat and continue the journey doing the same thing, paddle and again and again. I'm not sure when I will arrive at my destination but I hope it won't take too long.

I'm sorry...because I never told you about the truth of me. I wanted to tell you but if I stop lying I'll just disappoint you. Because I loved, I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't want you to cry for me. All I want was to make you happy when we were together. I always wanted to do the best for you but and always wanted to be the best but I always failed to show it or even to make it happened. I cried and screamed but nobody could ever hear me even to see it.

I'm sorry because I've told you so many lies when we were together. I was so afraid of loosing you if I told you the truth. I tried to hide what had happened and tried to keep all the secrets of mine. I can't let you know or I knew I would lose you that time. If I lost you later at least I had spent a bit longer time with you.

I'm sorry because I didn't tell you that I would hurt you one day because I knew it would happen but please remember because at least you we had great times together which will be always remembered. Don't forget those moments because they are so beautiful and although they never grow anymore but at least it would stay there till the our last breaths.

I'm sorry again because I hurt you....