The story of A Lover

The snow is here again. I didn't realize it but a friend told me that i will be suprised when i get outside. Well, as soon as i stepped my right leg outside of the door, i saw white all over the place. I said, "Oh My God!!", It's snowing again. I thought i the snow ended last month. Unfortunetly, it didn't and it comes again this morning. I see white everywhere, it's so preety but i don't like it because it makes me cold, miserable and stuck indoor all the time. I hate it but i can't do anything about it but just take it easy (even though i can't take anymore).

Anywhere, that's not the thing that i want to tell in this post but about the story of a lover. A lover who's broken hearted and running his life with the sadness he has. This lover feels so lonely, he feels so dissapointed in everything, he feels empty and nothing left. This lover used to get messages from his lover but no more message. He's been waiting for the time where he and his lover can be together, but it seems like never happen. This lover used to dreamed beautiful dreams but since that time, all he had was disaster dreams. He used to have a beautiful smiles on his face but no more but miserable face. He used to get phone calls from his lover but no more call but silence.

This lover is sad and wish he's happy to run his life. Life is just nothing for him but because of something he is still doing the same things. Mmmm..the lecturer is here and need t stop now. Talk again next time ya...bubye....

The unchanged melody - Isn't sad??

Updating my blog from this red bed at this moment and listening to GG's song titled Unchanged Melody. I have just finished reviewing my friends' work and emailed to them my feedback. My master programme is mostly internet based and i don't have to go to class very often except on friday. In fact, any topics will be dicussed from the portal.

Anyway...i had terrible day yesterday but i think i should be strong enough for it. I will face it one by one and i will cope with every beat of my heart. Listening to this song makes me feel so sad, so good, so touched, so missing, so relax, so quite, so calm and so weak. It reminds me with all the memories that i have been through in my life. Thinking to myself what will be the next and make myself feel so anxious to step ahead evey day. Life is full of surprise, isn't? yeah...full of uncertainty and full of obstacles as well. We never know what will happened tmrw. We might be happy or might be sad. We might be crying or we might be laughing.

The song says: I'll be comming home, wait for me - such a nice pharse has been used in this song. I thought it might be myself, i thought i might be one of the persons has been waited. Unfortunetly, i am not and i was wrong. The "unchanged melody" means your love with someone that never changed and will be eternity. But the question is, is there really an eternity in this world? How can you say you will be mine forever??? when you die means you have no love to share or to give anymore. Right??? But some people say, even if i died it doesn't mean the love is died. Well, as we knew because love is something untouchable and invisibleit's so difficult to say about love. Luckly love is something that we can feel, so the only way to tell that person is my love is still with you is your feeling. As long as you have the feeling about the person it shows you that the love is alive.

Oh...what a rambling thought huh? Sorry guys, i feel so empty and i feel so trapped here. Just sometimes i need to talk what inside my heart. The song goes again, I need you love, I want your love...that's me but it seems like it would never happen.

Huh..am tired now..time to go to bed...bubye....

Updating from where i am now. Between honesty and devotion

Ohh...i have just finished the class at 11 AM and had a group discussion with the team members about 1 and half hours. Now updating my blog from the uni's cafe (starbucks beb!!!) with my broken heart (it's bleeding u know?). At the same time listening a song of Celine Dion titled "Have you ever been in love", i like to dedicate the song to someone who's broken my heart and now i am one of the broken hearted. Thinking to myself am i able to cope with it? am i really strong for it? Thought am strong enough to cope with all the problems and i thought i used to be a survivor. Now i realized that i'm not as strong as i used to be. Now i know i am weaker than i thought and feeling like i am the only one in this world. Feels like i have nothing left, feels like i want to scream, i look miserable all days, am crawling on the small road that i've created long time ago.

Asking to myself have i ever in love? asking to someone have you ever been in love. Is there really love in this world? is there really honesty in the world? is there really a devotion in this world? i was seeking the answers for each of the questions but it seems like i'm seeking something that is never exist.

Bringing my broken heart into this cold weather making it worse actually. Try to cool it down, try to mend it but it doesn't work. Try to sing to make me happy but it doesn't work at all. Try to smile to mend my miserable face but it doesn't make any difference. Shall i say all these are too much for me????

My life is getting busy

Seriously busy...

Yeah...am back again after my horrible weeks and i'm sure this comming week will be another horrible week for me. Nevermind, i will stay and retain where i am and try to be even stronger. It's gonna be too much for me but i know that i can survive with all these obstacles and slowly cope with it. It's not easy though, even though i never thought i will be in this situation of my life. My life is getting busy, I checked my uni's email after lunch and i received the detail about the project that we going to do. Wow..it's really a big one huh???? yeah it is. Briefly, am going to a research about the interaction about the computers and human. Therefore, after the resaerch what i need to do is to propose a few methods in order to improve the interactions. I have no idea how it would be as i haven't started it yet but soon when i started it i will be okay i guess.

I have to think out of the box now..

Anyway...i've got class tmrw and also a group discussion. So i will be staying on campus tmrw until maybe 4 or 5 o'clock. Next week gonna be a busy busy week for me because i have do my revision as i've got test this comming friday and i have to explore abour netbeans as well. Huhuhu....busy..busy..busy....

P/S: I'm afraid of this "I don't want to lose your love but sometimes that's how it has to be....."

A cup of ice cream to cool down my emotion

Before that, i suppose to post this few days ago from this table and chair

Yeah...a friend looked at me strangly when i saod i would like to have an ice cream. It's winter!!!! Yeah i know it's winter and so??? I want to eat ice creamm to cool down my emotions, stress, tension, sadness, boring-ness. everything is on the top so i need something to cool them down. Wise move for me even though sometimes i could not resist my feeling. It's nothing i can do but just try my best to resist it until i finished my study. It's only one and half years and after that i will decide to stay on or go go back to my country. WELL, if someone asks me right now my answer will be "i want to go back to my country". I miss the hot weather so much. I want to be able to walk outside and enjoy the scenery, i want to walk as far as i can without worrying about the cold-ness. I met a chinese Malaysian guy last week and he said he doesn't like Malaysia because it's too hot for him. He added the hot weather faded him like a flower faded by the sun. It was so funny when he told me that but nevermind he likes the cold. Not for me though.

Sometimes an ice cream makes you feel better all the hustles

Anyway...i'm doing okay here even though it's a bit miserable. Soon i will be happy (happier maybe) as i have so many things on my mind. Now i know why my life line splited two. It means in the early age i will be having a very very big change in my life draging me to be a miserable person.

P/S: Nosindualan ginawo ku!!!!

A Trip to London

Yeahh..London..he..he..he..

Yeah..after a long tiring week, friends and I went to London yesterday. I never been to London anyway but my first impression was something like Singapore but the only difference might be the buildings ages. In singapore most of the buildings are modern architecture but in London the buildings are "oldiest". I bet you what? i was right..but i think London is nicer than Singapore. A friend and I went to the the street where their PM lives, national gallery, the parliment, where the tower watch located (forgot the name), Eye of London, to the river and China Town. Wow..quite a few places huh??...and i am exhausted. I took about 200 pictures and i haven't seen them yet.

The national gallery

Unfortunately most of the time i kept thinking about to get warm myself instead of enjoying the scenery. The sun came but it was still too cold for me but at least i took quite a lot of pictures. I like to go to London again in summer when the weather gets better.

The church i guess

Tmrw, i've got class at 9 AM, and i have to get up about 5.30 AM to get ready for the class (do you know that our brain is able to work quickly only after 2 hours from the time we got up??). Well, means if your class is 9 AM, you have to get up about 7 PM to make sure you are able to catch up what the lecture is all about.

Casino babe!!!

Somewhere in London

City of London

China town is everywhere

Underground escilator

Underground train..really fast...

P/S: Tengah dingar2 lagu dusun dari blog dbos...siok nie..terubat rasa rindu ngan sabah

I miss the hot weather

Yeahhhh...here is the graduation day will be

View from the lower side of the hill

Oh yes..i do...and i do miss Malaysia especially Penang and Sabah (the only two places in Malaysia i like the most). I hate the cold weather so much and i don't like being indoor most of the time. My life here is like a life of prisoner. Being indoor and sit on this little chair and browse the internet most of the time. My week ends are empty and my days are boring..no life, no heat, no shine..oh shit!!!!! I am really looking forward for the weather to get warmer so i will able to go somewhere nad enjoy myself. At least to do something please.....like what? shopping beb!!!! LOL!!! or i like to go to stone hedge (did i spell it correctly?).

The moon and mars planet

Anyway...tmrw i've got class and have to get up early in the morning. Couple of weeks ago (if i not mistaken) i went out with a friend and it was a really nice walked. I want to the place where my graduation day will be held and down the hill, where the lake was with many ducks and birds. Went to st. Albans town as well. What can i say, beautiful and so different from where i come from and i like the old buildings, churches and the country side as well. I bet the country side even much better in spring with flowers and in summer. That's why i am really looking forward these comming three seasons.

One of the oldest buildings in st.Albans

How about my classes so far? Well, so far so good and i manaed to get used with the lecture environment. Here, the lacture is only half of the time and another half more to group discussion and tutorials. Not like in malaysia, if the class is 2 hours it will be 2 hours lecture and sometimes students will fall asleep. LOL!!!

Heheheh..i like this pic

The oldest pub in britian

Anyway, i attached some of the pictures were taken when i was having a visit in st.Albans. By the way, I had my lunch in the oldest pub in Britian. If i not mistaken the name is "the old fighting cocks".

P/S: Managed to recover some losses in the first account but lost quite a lot in the second account. I learned something else today..Every day is a day to learn something for me.

Padan Muka..berpadah padah lah menonjol diri

Well, i think i've got it from facebook but don't remember whom facebook. Anyway...doesn't metter but this is very intresting because someone deserves to be what he has to be. It reminds me of this pharse "berpadah padah lah menonjol diri". So for those who would like to post a comment on facebook about something please think twice yah...hu..hu...BTW, i've just finished my 9AM class and now updating my blog. Mmmmm...the day is brighter today and i feel even better :)

Later of tonight i need to go to ASDA a supermarket like Tesco or like Giant in Malaysia. They have quite a lot of good stuffs like chilis (extremelly hot), milo (but well known as chocolate drinks here in the UK rather than Milo).

- 5 hour gap -

Sorry guys, just got back from ASDA.....

P/S: Seriously confused about something!!!!!